Play List and Scene Negotiation Forms

Author: Raven Shadowborne © 1999

This article is copyrighted to the stated author(s) and can not be reproduced, copied, reprinted, or posted without the consent of the author. It is used here with permission of the author.



A play list is a listing of different activities that occur in BDSM relationships which the reader is asked to rank them on a scale of how exciting they find the activity and whether or not they have done it or will do the activity in the future. They are a tool to be used during negotiation to determine whether or not your needs and desires in BDSM play match those of a prospective partner. They can also be used to learn about types of play that a person may not realize is out there. In this manner, a play list can provide a person with ideas of whether or not they would like to try something they had not heard of before. 

They are important in that it allows for in depth discussion of the different physical aspects of BDSM between prospective partners. In the case of meeting someone for the first time, a play list can be an invaluable resource in helping people decide whether or not play is something they wish to engage in with one another.  

As well, reading another's play list can give a good indication of how experienced the person is and allow the reader to tailor their actions to meet the experience level of the prospective partner. For dominants, this can prevent going too far with someone who is new. For submissives, this can allow you to know how much experience the dominant has if any. 

A scene negotiation form is a type of contract. It covers one scene only, not an entire relationship. It includes such things as medical history, limits, safe words, where the scene will take place, what types of play will be allowed and more. All of which is information that both parties need in order to do a scene as safely as possible.  

These can be a good tool in aiding prospective partners decide whether or not they truly wish to engage in BDSM play with someone. They can be helpful in proving prior consent should a submissive then cry rape after the scene is over. Though they do not offer any real legal protection.  

Both play lists and negotiation forms should be utilized if the chance that a first meeting may result in BDSM activities. They can make a person aware of possible dangers their prospective partner presents, if any. Again, not everyone is out to hurt others but it is better to be safe than sorry.

To access a play list click here.

To access a scene negotiation form click here.

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