Scening On A First Meeting (A.K.A Casual Scening)

Author: Raven Shadowborne © April 28, 1999

 In general, it is recommended that a person does not engage in any B/d or S/m activities on a first meeting with a prospective partner. In reality, scening on a first meeting happens with some frequency. Whether or not to scene on a first meeting is a personal decision which should be made with some precautions in place. 

It is very difficult for some people to ignore their intense desire to experience the physical sensations of play. Specially for new people in the lifestyle and for those who have not played in a while. These feelings can be overwhelming and override one's better judgment. Giving in to those feelings can lead to some serious trouble. 

Before you decide to scene with a person make sure you know what it is you are wanting to do with this scene. Make sure that your desires in play areas match your prospective partner. Use things such as play lists and scene negotiation forms to aid these discussions of kink compatibility. Discuss safe words and whether they will be allowed or not. A dominant or top should be knowledgeable about the implements they plan on using. A first scene is not the time to try something you've never used before. To make an unintentional mistake that results in permanent harm to the sub can be devastating for a dominant or top. The actions which will be done in the scene should be discussed with the people involved. Limits should be discussed and decided upon. No first scene should have "no limits" in my opinion. Do not let someone tell you that there shouldn't be any limits when you feel you need them or want them. 

Casual scening is as dangerous as casual sex. Both can cost a person their life. Again, use your common sense and take your time. It is better to be safe than sorry. 


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