A Slave's Lament

Author: Raevenne © 2001 ( raevenne@hotmail.com )


You came into my life
You found me - not I, you
You claimed me as your own
Your hunt at last, fruitful
You gave me a taste
Of what "the edge" was like
The stroke of the single tail
The touch of your knife
Feeling intense pleasure and pain
A spectacular "rush"
Then circumstances came into play
And a significant crush of feelings
I was there when you needed me
And was happy to be
But then you went away
Never sending a note
To say, "Be good, dear slave"
Or "I am thinking of you"
What was I to wonder?
What was I to do?
Do you know how sad I am
When my world does not have you?
You came back
You did not call
I called you, instead
Wondering if you had returned
How you were
But this is what you said,
"I may come, or maybe not."
A call was asked for, please
But the phone remained, ever silent
As always is the case
And so I once again wait
Nothing on Wednesday
Nothing on Thursday
Nothing on Friday
Neither Saturday, nor Sunday too
Here I sit, waiting for you
Afraid to call
Afraid to bother
What did I do?
Is there another?
I think to myself
This isn't right!
I need him too
Not for all night
Just a little time
A moment or two
Come on-line, tell me
What would you have me do?
Is this the way
It is supposed to be?
Do I not deserve
A bit of time from thee?
You say we are "part-time"
We meet to play
Then why is it you control me
With these rules each day?
Do you treasure the gift
I have given to you?
When you do not seem
To care what I do?
You do not check
On my welfare each day
Nor do I know
About you, either way
We finally meet
My heart contracts
I am so nervous
How shall I act?
In my collar, so cold and heavy
Everyone can see
That I belong to thee
But do they see
That you belong to me?
You touch me and then
Take me down deep
Next thing I know
I succumb at your feet
To that glorious "o"
You pull out of me
I open my eyes
But can barely see
To again join the crowd
And to wonder if I
Might have moaned
Right out loud!
Everything is right
Everything is fine
Until you walk out of my life
One more time
Then the doubt reappears
Feelings of abandonment
Slip into place
It happens again
'Till I see your face
You know something is wrong
Something's not right
So you try harder
To keep me in sight
Will it be enough?
Can we survive the turmoil
I feel in my heart
Will we ride out
These stops and starts?






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