Service and Self-esteem

Author: Toya © 2004

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All articles are used with the permission of the author(s).


Service and self esteem go hand in hand for me

I see myself as a service driven submissive. To serve my master is to please him; his pleasure in my service is also my pleasure in knowing I have pleased him. Master rewards me in many ways for my service. A special look, a smile, a deep passionate kiss… just a few of the ways he shows his appreciation and they make it all worth while. He doesn’t often have to ask any more as after six years I have learnt most of his likes and needs, and am able to anticipate most of them. I slip up at times and when I do so, there is no one more upset than me. I am my own worst critic when it comes to my service to Master.

There are many times I find myself doing things that I would rather not do, I do for him, and because it is an important part of my submission to him. I get up every morning at 5.45am to prepare his breakfast and layout his clothes for the day and have done since we started living together. In the middle of winter I could happily smash the alarm clock when it goes off, the last thing I want to do is get out of a nice warm bed. I do get up though. I take pride in the fact that he never has to get his own breakfast and never has to look for clothes to wear. I take pride in the fact that his shirt is freshly ironed just moments before he puts it on so it still has that crisp freshly ironed look. It is important to me as his submissive to be able to do these and many other things for him.

We often have friends come to stay with us, one in particular is not into D/s at all but accepts the way we live our lives. She too is very much service driven and delights in making drinks etc for us all in the evenings. She struggled with the idea that she was never allowed make Master a coffee, he would always thank her for asking and tell her that serving him was my job, not hers. He would then send me off with her to make his coffee while she made ours. He didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable by asking me serve her also, but he wouldn’t take away from me what is an important part of my submission.

In past relationships I was taken for granted and my self-esteem plummeted to an all time low. I didn’t feel of value or needed, I just did what needed to be done to keep the peace, and there were no thanks or any sign of appreciation. It was not a healthy situation to be in and not an easy one to get out of, but I did. In our D/s relationship quite the opposite has occurred. My service to Master gives me a feeling of being needed, and his smiles, comments of appreciation and kisses show me just how much he values my service.

Without his feedback I doubt that my service would have the same effect. I need an appreciative audience for the things I do. It’s not just a matter of needing his approval and attention all the time, so much as knowing that he is enjoying my service. By allowing me to serve him he is getting twice the benefits, the service itself, and a submissive with great self-esteem. It’s a win win situation.






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