Thoughts On Submission

Author: Raven Shadowborne © 2/1999


Submission is giving control of myself to another. That's the technical definition anyway. But it is so much more than that. It is emotional and pyschological way before it is physical. Submission isn't a want for me, it's a need, it  isnt' something I do just for kicks or sexual thrills. It is what I have to do. It is an integral part of who I am. Submission means to me that I strive to please my master above myself, even if I'm not really in the mood. It isn't just submitting to the pleasurable things but submitting/accepting the nost so pleasurable things as well that do or will please him. It isn't all sex, though that is included. It is service as well. For me, it is more the service than the play. Things like making the bed, cleaning the house, getting his coffee, and other household chores making our home a welcoming place for him to come home to. It's wearing the clothes he likes seeing on me. It's striving to be the best I can be for him. 

Submission is the mental knowledge of who is in charge, who makes the final decisions. It is being able to trust someone else so deeply that questioning their orders doesn't come to mind. Submission is being strong enough within myself to  be able to give what I am to another. It's being secure enough within myself that I can freely choose to place another's needs before my own, yet not lose my identity, instead enhance it through the power exchange dynamic. It is an emotional bond that is so strong that a simple look from my master speaks volumes to me where a sparkle in his eyes
is all I need to know I've done a good job, or a certain expression shows that I did not do a good job. Submission which flows naturally from to me my master is what brings me the greatest personal joy but can also bring emotional pain as well. It is knowing, even during times of confusion, deep inside that I belong to my master no matter what. 

Though all of these parts of submission I gain freedom to be all of who I am and to enjoy that. To find pleasure in my need to please someone else. For me, as a service orientated sub-slave, submission is who I am not just something I do. In the right circumstances and with the right person, the depth of my submission strengthens every day. Through this process I find inner peace, contentment, happiness and satisfcation unlike anything I've ever experienced before. For
me, it completes me. I suppose I could live without D/s in my life, but I would not have that deep sense of contentment that living D/s gives me and that I could not completely empathize with until recently.

For many people deep submission can not come into being without love being present. That's wonderful in my opinion. Yes, many of those emotions I spoke of are similar too and/or exactly the same as loving someone else. But, and this is where I will separate the two at least in my experience. I live a d/s relationship now on a 24/7 basis. I had stated here (and elsewhere) that I believed I could not reach the depth of submission that I knew myself to be capable of without loving the dominant. I can say that is not true. (gotta love it when life tosses stuff into your laps and changes everything one once looked at as fact..<giggle>) I have submitted this deeply with a man whom I did not love. We did not have a relationship based on romantic love it was based on a power exchange. mutual respect, and trust. We did care for each other, of course. For me, it isn't my submissive nature responding to "love", it is my submissive nature responding to the dominant one of a man I respect and trust. What is interesting to me, hence I've been thinking about this question so much, is how strong my feelings of submission are becoming. I always knew D/s did not require love to be in existence. But I could never completely empathize with those who stated they did not love their masters yet submitted deeply to them. Now, I understand it better. It's still hard to put into words. Will love eventually become a part of this relationship, probably yes it will. But right now, it isn't a part of it and I still feel that need to please and that satisfaction when I am pleasing, as well as that disappointment when I am not. Interesting thoughts to say the least.


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