Subspace & Pain; One Submissive's Experience

Author: Krysannia ©


This is a topic I really enjoy discussing... because its a place I really love to go and can at the drop of a word.....Subspace is different for everyone..some go high.. where we call flying..some have OOB(out of body expereinces) some just dissassociate with it.. then some like me just keep getting endorpohins pumped out  that eventually even though we are *there* can hear everything being said.. can rspond only with intense effort.. but feel literally nothing except whats going on inside my body...then of course there is what I call general subpsace.. I'll try to describe what it is to me.

But how to describe it..thats tricky....General subspace.... for me it can be when he grasps the back of my hair and twists it in his hand tilting my head to the side... giving me that *Dom* look.. I feel instantly wet.... everything around me fades away and only his voice and his eyes penetrate my brain.. my legs grow weak its hard to stand.. I usually wobble  (5 inch heels and standing and this arent a good match) but he holds me with the other arm around my waist. He says my eyes change... they go from emerald green to  to a deep rich blue green color..and they glaze my mouth slackens.. my body relaxes into his.. and he knows thats the start of my descent into my space.  If we are in public he makes sure I am sitting down when he does this.. WHy? cuase when he turns me loose standing I fall directly into  kneel up position.. cause everything
around me is blocked out...only him I focus on and the growing feeling inside. Sometimes in public he wants me kneeling  so I am not sitting but I feel no embarrassment in this.  He can also do this by whispered words..certain words I have been trained  to trip into subspace on.  I call them trigger words. But what I do know is that I cant walk without help after this.. We have been in the grocery store and he walk up and whispers something... and BOOM.. I cant focus is entirely on him. He will laugh and say sweetheart come on. I cant move... I have to be lead by him.. cuz eveything around me is fuzzy...I feel high like a good drunk going.  I can stay in this space as long as he wants me there by a bit of verbal *coaching*...certain words and phrases that have meaning to only him and I.  It pleases him my reaction to him.  But then other times..when *playing* the feeling of him tightening the restraints on my arms and legs... again listening to the sound of his voice..  it becomes a highly intense sexual arousal.. everything fades cept him his touch.. his voice.. the incoming sensations  whether hand, flogger, paddle, crop, cane...its all intensity that pushes me higher and higher to that *place* make a few definitions before I go on..simple ones..

Dissassociaiton--to go to antoher place like a meadow  etc. somewhere safe where your not really attached to what is going on in the room.

OOB- its when you are standing outside yourself watching what is happeneing in the room(an extreme and dangerous high)

Flying-when the stimulation is so intense that everthing coming in is no longer felt as pain but just sheer ectasy..depending on how HIGH you get you are still there in the moment just maybe cant talk cause your speech is so slurred or you cant at all sometimes too high to orgasm or you go into multiple uncontrollable orgasms and the stimulation comes from within yourself.

I have done all three at some point in time.
to explain---

Dissassociation- one time I was playing with a Dom..that watching watching where I was.. I was so high flying that when he started using a partiuclar brutal tool on me I couldnt respond back I was in severe pain, he wasnt watching my body reaction and mentally I shut down ...I left that room mentally...went to a safe place..a place of  serenity and calm and gentlenes... I have no recall to this day of the last 1 and half hours of that scene.  its your minds way of saying I cant cope  take me away from here.

OOB- once I was so high..flying out there... the endorphins pumping out so much into my body....that it created what we now know was a OOB for me.. a very dangerous HIGH and takes a very experienced Master and one trained in CPR and first aid to really deal with this kinda high to get you back safely. Or for you to want to come back safely.  This was a particular scene we had discussed in advance.. it was a slow building  combination session the intensity of the stimulation getting progressively harder and harder... at one point I was writhing and squirmng in multiple orgasms then I suddenly stopped moving he said.. I held position  but was breathing deeply...VERY deeply  deeper than he had ever seen me..I saw him go to the closet get the jump bag(medical bag) I wouldnt answer.. ..I was basically unconscious he . checked my pulse  it was weak and eyes severely glazed and not tracking in the room (tracking-not following anything) just a low moan when he touched me.. He stopped realized I was in shock..and started shock measures.. I could see him doing all this.. I could describe exactly what he did the next day.. see  I could not have describes anything to him. I was blindfolded the entire session. and it took me 7 hours to regain consciousness completely afterwards. He said after about an hour I would arouse enough to drink then slip back under ..after that I mostly moaned and writhed on and off.. he held me the entire time. Being closely monitored by him the entire time.. (helps who you know huh)

the last Flying--- my FAVORITE!!!! ..I can only describe this...the  most recent scene with this. a few months ago we went to a private play party. AS things wound down... there were only 4 of us left two couples. John decided to wax me we hadnt done that in a while... and the other couple wanted to watch *how* he did it which is different than anyone else I have ever seen do it.  He started on my back... I just felt the warm *safe layer* he put down..( he cupps the wax in his hand and spreads a layer first) then he started waxing and I was so relaxed by it... I just started floating...hearing eveything and everyone but just out there...  then he turned me over with the help of the other Dom (he didnt want to disturb my space by a jerky awkward movement turning me) becasue I was beyond moving myself.. he waxed my front and crotch.. I was *toasted* I could see him his eyes..but  couldnt respond verbally.. just nod..
after he was done I was just this writhing thing on the bed.. and went into a mutliorgasmic state...then he told me to rest... then he came over and they (the two Doms, mine and one I play with sometimes)  decided to cane me cause I was at the point of wanting to go higher and stay there (we have a special word for more) (and I had come down enough to tell it to him) So they turned me over gently and restrained me spread eagled on the bed.. they started caning.. working the area into the *welt* so they could get down to heavier stuff.

Now I could hear everything being said in the room I just couldnt respond verbally.. Joe started harder with the cane.. I was moaning but not really jerking...he had John check me and when asked if I was okay all I could do was a uh huh...but was so out there  I was just flying going higher and highger with every sensation or body stroke I got. I wasnt feeling any pain at all.. just sheer pleasure..  Joe started caning harder and harder and I wasnt moving..wasnt flinching.. just a deep gluttural moan... and occasional head toss. and I stopped responding verbally and stopped tracking him when he pulled up my head I was ocmpletely lost in the sensation I was feeling and the endorophins were wroking overtime...  . I was too far out ..... my Dom said...  he knew where I was headed... he laughed and said no baby your not going there tonight.. and they started with other types of stimulation. careressing etc.. making me orgasm to bring me down enough to a safe bring me down a bit.. they would take me up and then bring me down a bit.. they kept me on the edge of OOB..and flying  for a hour or more that way.  then finally my Dom decided I was
exhausted and time to *finishme* LOL. ( the thing here is that I was so high with the endorphins pumping that I could not feel what they were doing....and anyone thats ever felt a cane KNOWS they hurt like hell.. see they could have beat me black and blue and bloody and I would have kept going higher and higher and higher in my estactic ectasy bliss and been totally unaware of what damage they were doing to my body so safety and having a Dom that knows when tostop is a key here) But also trusting him enought o toally let go is a key too.

It was a great night.... but I couldnt get down enough to dress myself.. the three of them dressed me and and the other Dom helped him get me to the car later.. and it was a cozy ride home. By then down enough to talk about it but not functioning real well.. my speech was still a bit eyes glazed my body weak.. He always laughs and says I make the best loveable drunk for someone that doesnt drink. Its also the reason I not allowed to drive afterwards for several hours, I appear highgly intoxicated from all the endorpohins stillin my body.

Okay thats what my subspace is like.. and what it is to me. I hope that helps define it to others that havent gotten there yet..or have been there but didnt know thats what it was. The only thing I can say..a word of never let a Dom take you that high that doesnt know how to bring you back down safely. Mine is trained in CPR..and general first aid..and shock treatment. Playing at that level takes time..and knowledge of the sub its not something you can do on a first meeting play session. The Dom has to know you well enough to know when to stop. And you have to be honest enough to forewarn them  thats where you go mentally.. and phsyically. once they learn your body they know when to stop. There are very few Doms/Masters that will or can play at this level or intensity. And I also beleive as a sub this isnt something you find over night.. for me it took a long time to reach these kinds hieghts in my be able to totally let
go.. and fly with the sensation...And most of all  for me I say it comes down to takes ALOT of trust in your Dom/Master to let them take you that highand not panic when your there and just enjoy it..knowing your safe. and I am not a painslut...  I am a wimp when it comes to pain without my subspace there as my shield and armour.


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