The Submissive Role

Author: Skorpio © of BDSM Realm

used with permission


Looking under - Not long ago we deepened the Dominant role and some of its traits and peculiarity. It's now time to look down at the other side of the medal, what we call bottom, submissive, slave. The role who celebrate the conquest of freedom through chains, the quest of pleasure inside pain.

The submissive role is simpler but not easier. Who feel the attitude or desire to live that role in a BDSM relation (or occasional play) would anyway think twice before making real those fantasies. First of all the submissive role is essentially passive. When doing things he obey to orders and not by his own will. Everyone is obviously free to live what likes in the way he likes it, but in a BDSM relation there will be two different roles, and only one will be in charge. Where the so-called submissive decide about terms, timings, places and games (maybe in the form of implorations or planning them before the play) all we will have is a kind of drama missing the focal point of a BDSM play. We will discuss later about how subs uses to lead the game in a correct or incorrect way, doing what is commonly known as Topping From Bottom.

As the goal of Dominant is to achieve the more possible satisfaction, the goal of the submissive one is to obey giving the more possible pleasure to the Dominant. Shall it sound weird, to the slave is denied also to give himself more pain or humiliation. It is basic indeed that giving pain or humiliation to the submissive is a privilege of the Dominant. And the latter will do that accordingly to his own will and desires. Although embarrassing, shall happen especially to beginners to understand during a play to be absolutely not able to carry out the duty. It is (and must always be) obviously possible to end up the game at any time. To avoid such embarrassing situation i strongly suggest beginners to deepen the probable consequences of that choice. Once fitted into a scene, will be expected to try it out until the end. Accepting rules and development in a totally passive way, trying to focus on the Dominant pleasure as the only important thing to achieve.

First basic traits of the applicant submissive will be devotion and firmness, the capacity to end what we start, unless it shall be or become unpleasant. Forbearance or arousal for physical pain are good things but can also be acquired by experience. Deep acceptance and ability to maintain the role play are essentials from the very start into BDSM world. A sub desiring to offer himself to a Dom must first of all clarify with himself and then with the desired Dom what he can see as limits and his own way to perceive the relation and the play. Should also be a nice idea to express his fantasies and more arousing or more feared practices. Will be then the Dominant to decide during play which limit approach or rise, or even (in some condition) break up. You see how mush important is for the submissive to understand better what kind of person is facing.

Submissive will then try his efforts to understand ASAP needs and desires of the Dominant, and behave consequently. Modifying himself, accepting desires and ways of the Dominant is the real job of the submissive. Of course an endless effort, since Dom will always desire to push sub further into new experiences (that does not necessarily mean going to extremes, there are never ending variations on every game or situation to go through). In such inability to reach his own goal the submissive will find his reward through the pleasure of his Dominant.






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