So, you have decided you are a submissive/slave? What now? Most would say the next step is to look for a Dominant to whom you can give your submission. i don't agree. We all know that submission is a gift to be given to the Dominant we finally choose. But in the mean time, what do we do? Prior to giving your submission, take a serious look at this gift you will be offering. A friend of mine says that when you give a gift, you want it to be the very best gift that is possible for you to give. i am sure you agree with this as well. Is your gift truly the best that you have to offer, or can you perfect it, mend some things, and make it truly better? The gift of submission is the greatest gift you have to give, so prior to presenting it to that special Someone, why not make it the very best that it can, and should, be?

The wait for that special Dominant can be very frustrating, and at times, you may want to rush and grab the first one Who seems interested in you, just so you have the security of that collar. Such a rushed decision is not fair to you or to the Dominant. You both deserve the very best. While searching and waiting for a Master is the perfect time to prepare your gift and make it the best you truly have to offer. i can tell you that the best thing is to do this for yourself. However, being a slave myself, i know that i can easily do something for my Master that i would not have the willpower to do for myself. So, prior to your being owned by Another, use this time wisely. Prepare yourself for that nameless One who will soon become your life.

I recommend that you prepare a list of your assets and liabilities. Be very honest; the items on this list are for your eyes only. Is the list of liabilities longer than it should be? Now is the time to start working on that column and moving some of the items over to the assets side. When preparing this list, it is easy to exclude many of the 'vanilla' aspects of a relationship. When you find the "One", your relationship will have a basis of BDSM but will also encompass all areas of your life. No real-life relationship can last based exclusively on BDSM. There have to be other interests and areas where you are compatible as well. Next, list things you may like to try or to learn: anything from sailing to learning to paint. Those choices are totally yours, so make them something YOU want to learn. Enriching your character in such a way provides you with self-respect and confidence, as well as enriches the range of activities and conversation that you and the One might possibly engage in.

i can't begin to make a list of things that you should consider to change about yourself. All i can tell you is to look at what and who you are and what you don't like about yourself, and then merely start to work on changing these things. Think big, but start small, and be consistent. Small changes over time are much more realistic and lasting than trying to conquer big ones in a day. There are many Dominants who love big beautiful women and men. So if you are happy with your weight and proportions, accept them, love, and respect them, and look for the One who will also. Look to change those things that make you feel unhappy about yourself. Those nagging aspects that tend to make you feel badly about yourself are also those that are unconsciously signaled to others through your body language and verbal expression. Thus, if you can have a clear conscious about some negative aspects of yourself, and be working to correct them, your demeanor will change, and others will see you more positively, because you now express that change in subtle ways that even you are not aware of.

One of the fastest ways to fail in this lifestyle is to try to be someone or something you are not. So please, in preparing your gift, do so with honesty and respect to yourself. In the end, you will find the wait and time spent perfecting your gift will be well rewarded when you find the "One" whom you were meant for. Remember, no one wants a gift even the giver doesn't like. The greatest gift you can give is one you loved yourself before you gave it away, placing it in Another's hands and trusting that They will see it, love it, and respect it the same way you do.

Rick's miria
Augusta Iron Rose Society

Special thanks to Moonzpetal for the words that got this article started.

I wish to thank my wonderful friend peter for his help in editing this article and making it readable to everyone else.