Submission, All Or Nothing?

Author: Evil_Geoff writing as Lord Hamilton Z © 2001

Updated March 14, 2013: By request of the author an updated e-mail address and author name were added to this page. In his own words he says "I used the LordHamiltonZ name for several years; until my children reached adult-hood"



This was prompted by the discussions I see between people trying to define just what submission is. It's a stumper of an issue, no doubt. Some people feel that limits have no place in submission, others think that having no limits is dangerous at best, and insane at worst. Some feel that there should be no holding back in submission. Others believe that they can submit in some areas, and not in others.

My own personal take on this is that it isn't for Me to decide exactly what someone else's submission or Domination should or shouldn't be. The people involved in the relationship at that time determine how much, how deep, to what extent they will exchange power. Whether it is "bedroom bondage" when they can get a quiet night without the kids, to 24 hour a day/7 days a week Total (or Absolute) Power Exchange, neither is right for everyone, but neither is wrong for everyone, either. It just depends on the needs, desires, feelings and beliefs of the people in the relationship.

For some people, submission is an all or nothing thing. And there is nothing wrong with feeling that way. For others, it is submission in some areas of their lives, and it doesn't carry over into others. And there is nothing wrong with that, either.

Sometimes, D/s is the roar of the crashing surf and tides, undeniably pulling us with it's call. At other times it is a quiet whisper of wind, barely heard through the noise of the forest of distraction in our lives. And however you are hearing it now, that's okay.

You may find yourself with a Dom who commands your total submission, and your heart melts. Or perhaps your heart freezes because that is not what you seek any longer. Or you find a vanilla mate who brings out the deepest submission in you, though he never lifts a hand to spank you or a flogger to whip you, or pours deliciously warm wax all over your body, but because he commands your heart totally, through love, with never a thought of kink. And any of those things is okay too.

Domination and submission is a journey, not a destination. And the scenery changes along the way as we grow and change ourselves. Our feelings, beliefs, needs and desires are not static things, nor should they be. When you are ready, when you meet the right partner, you may find yourself in submission again because it is the call of your heart. Or it may be that your submission was just a part of the journey of your life, and one you have passed through. Either way, cherish the memories of what you have learned, keep the lessons and the beauty and the love, and discard any pain.

Hold true to your heart's calling along whichever path it leads you. If you do so, you will find yourself at peace with your choices. And that may be the greatest success of all.

Yours In Kink,





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