Self Discipline For Submissives

Author: Raven Shadowborne © May 1, 1999


 Self discipline is the same thing as self control. It is the ability to follow through with what you have set out to do, or have agreed to do. For a submissive, it is being able to meet the requirements you agreed to in your relationship. Many confuse discipline with punishment. The two are, to me anyway, different. 

A submissive needs to be able to control their own actions well enough that they remain within the boundaries set by their relationship. This does indeed take self discipline. For example, a submissive is aggrivated by something at work yet there is a rule in her relationship that she is not allowed to yell without a good reason. It will require her to use self discipline to keep from yelling out of frustration with her work. 

Many submissives are given tasks or things they must do on a daily basis (or regular basis) for the dominant. It takes self discipline to remember to do these things and do them correctly. 

Discipline is the tool that many overlook because it often mirrors other things in BDSM. Like trust, honor, self esteem and obedience. Without self discipline one would be unable to do the rest sufficienty and the relationship would suffer. Someone who lacks self discipline can not be relied upon (or trusted) to complete the tasks set before them. A lack of self discipline (and reliability) can be seen as a lack of honor and obedience. 

Often during training submissives are taught patience, controlling their own orgasms, verbal restraint and other similar things. In effect they are learning self discipline and to control themselves so they can conduct themselves in a way which pleases their dominant. Without this basic ability, a submissive will have a much harder time within their submission. 


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