What BDSM Is To Me, I

Author: subdancer © 2/17/1999


The following article taken from an email response to the dom_sub mailing list, used with permission of the author.

Questions: what is BDSM about? Is it sexual? Mental? emotional? a combination of one or more of those? Is it purely physical sensation? What is it about for you? What do you get out of it ? What keeps you coming back? Could you live without it at all in your life?

When i first entered into BDSM i did not even know what it was called, i only knew what it was; control and discipline and punishment for lack of either. i became a very stoic somber child. i experienced the working end of a crop at a very early age, too early in my eyes. Too early in most's eyes. A chronically happy people minded child became a shadow haunted lurker, who if met with negative reaction to her coming out of her lurker's corner would rush back to it in tears. A deep fear of displeasing anyone was made the most dominate part of my thinking. Had i not met the woman i call Godmother at age 11, i feel i would have been lost in a lurker's darkness.<or dead at an early age>. i give her full credit for awakening the suppressed dominant in me, and she did it only by being my friend and the backbone of my support system when i moved away from the control of my early childhood. Even with her strong support she only learned my childhood secret last week. Doctors decided they would/could cure my BDSM, all they cured was my strong need to be secretive over my past and with that led me to accept it openly.

As a child my experience in BDSM on one hand gave me the security i did not have in a family with 5 kids and parents who worked all my waking hours. i had to overcome a lot of negative learned beliefs i had because of dealing with BDSM before i was able to form right ideas because of it and with that find so much more in BDSM now.  <God Travis Tritt is fine> OOPS side road hee hee.

Anyway, and now get a lot more out of it.<BDSM> i have met a lot of "Doms" who use BDSM to gain control of an asset for their wallet, but there are many who are so much better than that. i have a thing for Doms, especially ones who are strong but not afraid to admit they are pussies when it comes to pain. :) i myself am a pain slut and not into inflicting pain. But don't get me wrong, if pushed i can do it, if pushed the wrong way, you won't like it. 
   True Doms and true sub/slaves are a different breed of people. Stronger with deeper passions. What an outsider would see as pushing another down to control them in all ways and kill their will, i see as working to help them face their fears and limits to make them stronger. 

   My reintroduction to BDSM and learning the truth behind it's followings has made me in my life a people person again. It has made me stronger in facing everyday life, and all the new experiences each new day brings. i have learned where i stand and the strength i hold. i see in BDSM a helper in controlling the part of me that can so easily run wild, and is a place where i can be accepted for who and what i am and what i believe. People like i am who see pain as a tool to become stronger and feel alive. 

   BDSM is all of the things you asked about for me, and no i don't think i could live my life without it in some form.




Back To Journey Into Submission
E-mail Site Owner
Back To Home Page


Page by: Raven Shadowborne © 2001

Graphics & Buttons by: Aylissa Cair & Raven Shadowborne © 1999 & 2001




LnR Toy Store

Site Map


To hear of changes to the web site, or events taking place in the chat room, enter your e-mail address and click on the button below to join the LnRannounce mailing list. This is an announcement list only and is of very low volume. Or if you prefer, e-mail Raven (ravenshad@knology.net ) to be added to the list, be sure to include your e-mail address and the name of the list within the e-mail.

Subscribe to LnRannounce
Powered by groups.yahoo.com
Link To Domination