How To Cope With Release

Author: Mystic_Jul © 1998


 Your world may seem empty, and all you can seem to do is cry, but you try not to show it to O/others   for fear of ridicule, or being told that familiar phrase "this is only cyber". I am sorry, but for many   of us, cyber and real life mix and the feelings are quite real. Whether the Dom/me knows it or not,  there is a real person on the other side of the computer screen. One who loved, one who trusted, on
  who depended upon You with all their being. That person feels, that person hurts, that person does cry at the loss of their Master/Mistress, their companion, their lover, their teacher, their guide through this realm.

   The person whom has served faithfully, sat day after day, night after night awaiting the return of their Master/Mistress, aches to be able to serve Them again, their soul begs to be reunited with the One whom they would give their all for, desires to be held and consoled by the same person who released them, but it is not to be.

 The first stage is denieal of the release, not wanting to believe it has happened, sitting around waiting for your former Master/Mistress to return, hoping that it is all a dream, that they will return.

 The second stage is shock, our inability to cope with our release causes us to withdraw, not wanting help from anyone, just to sit and think about what has happened.

    The third state is self-depreciation, thinking it's all your fault, that you weren't worthy, you did something wrong. Though we know this is not true, our mind refuses to allow us to move on, that we must be the blame for all that has happened.

   The fourth stage involves depression, thinking that nothing is ever going to be the same, that you cannot live without the person you so trusted and depended upon. Our self worth is battered and, we feel we deserve all that we have gotten and more, that we are not worthy of anything good.

   The fifth stage is hate, wanting everything bad to happen to the person who hurt you and to any person involved in the release, wanting them to hurt as much as you do.

 The sixth stage is acceptance, learning to live with the fact that you were released and that you must move on, this stage is the best, it allows us to heal the most, and builds our self-worth back up.

And the final stage is starting over, continuing on with your life, the stage which you can grow again, and once more learn to trust and love, knowing that we will be happy again.

  The pain sometimes gets less, but not always. Remember that the outcome is always the same, we move on.

 All subs should go through a "mourning" period in which they can retrieve their dignity, reconstruct their feelings, and grow strong enough to choose whom they will serve. During this time, friends are so necessary to be able to carry on, to gain strength, and support. Lean on them, they will help you tremendously if only you let them.

  Take a piece of paper, or in the computer type down all of your feelings, those of hurt, pain, anger, fear, everything, and get them out. Do not hold back on your language, just write exactly what comes to your mind and release it all. Then take the paer and burn it, or if in the computer post and eliminate it. As you do this, think in your mind of this stage of your life developing and growing from what has happened, gain strength from the pain and you will allow yourself to heal.

  Though it may seem like the end of your world as you know it, it truly isn't. There is hope and you will find another, who is even stronger and better than the last, and you will rejoice in the previous loss and be thankful that it was allowed to happen.

  Many will ask you how you are, but it is hard to put all the feelings of loss into words. You do not have to if you do not wish, but remember that T/they are there to help. T/they worry and want to see you happy lean on them, it will make T/them feel better and help you also.

 Always remember, there is a sun under the dark clouds, though hidden, it remains and will one day appear again and your world will be bright again.

   Submission is love, trust, hope, desire, yearning...when one falls all follow, all but one...HOPE.


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