My
Thoughts On Being A Switch
Author: LadyMist/mist` © Feb. 12, 1999 |
I
look back and wish I had a nickle for every time I have heard that a good
submissive can not be an effective Domme, or even a good Domme.
I am a good Domme, at least I am told so by my subs. They wouldn't all
just be sucking up would they? And being a sub myself, I know the other
side of the head space and implements. There is nothing like swinging
a flogger and getting a thrill from knowing exactly how it feels, in essence
vicariously experiencing the submissive side of the Scene. My switch
tendencies are limited to one head space per person. What I mean
by this is that I do not Domme and sub to the same person. This eliminates
the retribution factor; however, this is not my motivation. As of
yet I have not found the person that inspired both feelings. I either
want to beat you or get beat by you. ‘EG’
I am
not attempting to say that I am the only type of switch or that mine
is the only way people can switch. This is my way, my experiences,
thoughts and feelings. I have met others that switch that approach
our lifestyle differently with success. Sometimes more than I have had,
sometimes less. I found my dominant side in college. I had the privilege of attending an all female institution and reaping the benefits thereof. My Abnormal Psychology professor became my mentor and trainer (after I had passed from her class of course.) She was a very private member of the D/s community in the southern US due to fear of losing her children and alienating her family. The very reason I find that most of us here in the Bible belt hide in the very back of the closet. She helped me find my way through my limits as a Domme, enabled me to learn the various techniques needed to wield implements with some safety, all without intruding on my relationship with my first girlfriend and later… collared slave. She taught
as well as demonstrated how a chain of command can work in a multiple
or ployamorous situation. And once that pecking order is established
(however the members - or dominants ‘G’ - decide to do it) and it is
clear how one can move up (or down) the chain, peace can be summarily
achieved in the Dom/me’s household. For example, in my current
situation I am always submissive to Milord whom I have been married
and collared to for 6 years. I am responsible for his house, his
I graduated
from college and my submissive went back to Australia but the teaching
of my mentor has stayed with me. As a result, I could handle losing
my first collared one with grace, helping her find a Domme that was
respected in her country. I have continued to grow as a Domme.
I have The teaching
I still carry with me and for which I am most grateful is the ability
to use implements properly. My mentor had a varied network of friends
with many years of technical experience under their collective belts.
By the time I had moved from pillows and posts to flesh and bone I knew
The only thing about being a switch that I have had trouble growing into is the fact that we seem to be viewed as a different species (albeit a less desirable one) to dominants. “Normally I am not attracted to switches” “Why?” the imp in mist will ask. “They are not easy taken into subspace.” “They are more inclined to be SAM’s” “They are not as easy taken over and broken” on and on ad nauseum. Does that mean we are stronger, more informed, less submissive? I believe that the wannabe’s in question might think so. I am no stronger and no more informed than any other established submissive. I am different. And who among us has never had to come to terms with the fact that we are different? Hearing
that I am less of a submissive due to the fact that I can and do Domme
does hurt and does bother me. When I give my gift, it is with
no less care and trust as any other sub. And I do not, ever, want
to switch and turn the tables on him or her that has placed a collar
on me. Although these Hearing
that I can not be an effective Domme does not faze me much. Those
who utter these things are not likely to ever feel my presence and I
do not expect respect. I earn it from those who choose to grant
me their gift. And to date not one has ever said that they have
suffered neglect in the collar Yes,
I am complicated. Yes, I do have the weakness of speaking up when something
is being done that can harm. (For example: tails wrapping around to
the front of my neck.) Yes, I do suffer from pride. The negative
type that says I can withstand anything a Dom/me can do. Yes, I do cherish
and If certain
people or actions inspire you towards submitting, and still others make
you want to pull out a flogger and go to town, you might be a switch
too. This is not a bad thing. I have had one submissive liken
switches to diamonds, multifaceted and precious. I am not sure what
face I show the |
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