The BDSM Lies

Author: Jay Wiseman, Lady Green, Glen the Paramedic and Dale the Actress. (This "sanitized" version by GlitterOne) ©

Used With The Permission Of The Authors


 The Great Lies of BDSM (and a few others)...

...that we tell straight people:
It's a fashion statement 
It's for a crafts project 
I fell off my bicycle

...that we tell each other:
I've never even fantasized about doing that 
I just do this for fun. I don't need it 
Mistress, I'll do anything you want

...that we tell ourselves:
I'm normal 
I always stop when I feel genuine anger 
I only play with people I respect 
I'm doing this for healthy reasons

...that dominant men tell submissive women:
I think of women as equals 
I have a healty relationship with my mother 
I truly believe that it takes a strong woman to submit

...that submissive women tell dominant men:
I don't have any unresolved issues regarding my father 
It's enough to serve you, Master. I don't need to get off 
I really want you to be in charge 
I love it when you ejaculate in my mouth 
Licking your feet and bottom really turns me on 
I like your pot belly 
You own me body and soul

...that submissive men tell dominant women:
I'll do anything you want 
I exist only to serve you 
I don't care about getting off 
I regard women as superior beings 
You're beautiful to me 
I really get off on doing housework for you 
My wife knows that I do this

...that dominant women tell submissive men:
I basically like men 
Wearing high heels makes me feel more powerful 
I can't top anybody who doesn't turn me on 
I never switch 
I love giving golden showers

...that we tell vanilla prospective play partners:
It's not pain. It's just strong sensation 
This is fundamentally a nurturing activity 
Submission is empowering 
You need to explore this side of yourself

...that dominant women tell each other:
I have the perfect slave 
I feel that you and I are part of a Sisterhood 
I can stay in top space while I'm "receiving"

...that submissive women tell each other:
My Master takes good care of me 
I'm not really an exhibitionist 
I don't feel competitive towards other submissives 
It's OK with me if you play with my Master

...that dominant, heterosexual men tell each other:
My slave never says no to me 
Some of my best friends are submissive men 
When I watch you play at a party, I don't secretly hope that you'll screw up and everyone will notice 
I can still be dominant after I've had an orgasm

...that submissive, heterosexual men tell each other:
The most important thing is to serve the Mistress 
I never tell her what to do 
I've never gone to a professional Mistress 
I love it when my Mistress won't let me come for days 
I don't think my Mistress is fat 
I don't mind that you can take more pain than I can 
I really believe that my mission in life is to serve women 
I really like going down on my Mistress during her period

...that bi switches tell each other:
I truly don't care which gender I play with 
I'm not at all homophobic 
I separate sex from SM 
Being bi is the best of both worlds 
I only play with people I feel intimate with 
I only play with other switches

...that professional Mistresses tell each other:
Business is good 
I never have sex with a client 
Business is bad 
I always stick to my specialty and refer out clients who want other things 
I'd do this even if I wasn't getting paid 
I never need to bottom 
I'm always in control of the session 
I'm a good businesswoman 
My lover doesn't mind that I do this 
It was my choice to leave my last straight job

And, finally, the three great lies that vanilla people tell SM people:
Hearing about this doesn't shock me 
I know other people who are into this 
We negotiate everything too






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