An Approach To Manual Vaginal & G-spot Stimulation

Author: the Society for Human Sexuality at the University of Washington 
Copyright © by Society for Human Sexuality. All Rights Reserved


          You may distribute this document in any form you wish provided it is not charged for and is distributed unmodified and in  its entirety. If you wish to somehow sell this document, you must have the permission of the authors. The latest version of  this document may be obtained from the Society for Human Sexuality WWW page at 


          As is the case with almost all sex, your partner will know better than anyone 
          else what feels good, so listen to what she has to say, especially as regards 
          comfort and intensity. I'm not going to pepper this document with phrases 
          such as "within the comfort level of your partner" because it should go 
          without saying. Encourage her to talk to you, back off if it's too much, and 
          change it if it would feel better in some other way. Let's face it; if it weren't 
          for good feedback, this document wouldn't exist. 

          It should also go without saying that every woman is different, and that you 
          should pay attention to what feels good for each person you are with. What 
          I'm going to describe below has worked well with MANY of the people I 
          have been with, but not ALL, and not in exactly the same way with each 
          person. One key thing to get is that you can be communicative and responsive 
          while still being confident. Practice this. 

          The advice in this document applies equally whether the insertive partner is 
          male or female (though if you close your eyes, it doesn't really matter, does 
          it...). It is assumed, however, (except in the "ON MEN" section discussing the 
          prostate gland) that the receptive partner has 
          female genitalia. 

          Oh, one other thing. Most of the people around me have reclaimed the word 
          "cunt" so that it no longer has derogatory connotations. I'm going to make 
          free use of that term in this document. 


          First, clip your fingernails. Unless you and your partner are 
          latex-monogamous, put on latex gloves. If you absolutely must have long 
          fingernails for fashion reasons, then put cotton balls around your fingernails 
          and wear latex gloves over them. Apply water-based lube liberally to your 
          insertive hand, whether your partner is aroused and "wet" or not. 

          The idea in general is to use the first and second fingers of one's preferred 
          hand in the vagina, in one of two basic patterns. Alternate between these two 
          patterns as desired during the course of sex. 

          1. Slowly insert the fingers as far into the vagina as far as is 
          possible/comfortable, and move them in even circles. The trick here is to keep 
          consistent, firm pressure along the entire length of the fingers against the 
          vaginal walls, and to keep the pressure fairly constant at all points in the 
          rotation (though you can give a LITTLE extra pressure at 12 o'clock, in the 
          direction of the G-spot, as long as you don't break the rotational rhythm.) 

          2. Place your fingers so that the fingertips are just behind the pubic bone, 
          exerting pressure upwards (assuming your partner is lying on her back). This 
          is direct G-spot stimulation, and feels best if the fingers are subtlely moving 
          somehow. You can slowly rock in a circular motion, or if the fingers are 
          pointed more sharply upwards you can rock forwards and back. Sometimes 
          firm pressure is preferred here, depending on the amount and sensitivity of 
          the tissue between the vaginal wall and the urethral sponge (see below). 

          The reason this feels so good is that it alternates feelings of being completely 
          stuffed (#1) with direct G-spot stimulation (#2). So it's like being fucked by a 
          huge cock with fingers and a brain. It also provides a great, and as far as we 
          know optimal, opportunity for G-spot orgasms. 

          There's certainly other techniques you can add to your manual repertoire. 

          You can thrust your hand in and out in a simulated fucking style (and for an 
          extra thrill, exert pressure upwards when withdrawing so you involve the 
          G-spot on the way out). 

          You can use your thumb (of the insertive hand, or of another gloved hand) to 
          stimulate the clitoris while working over her cunt. 

          You can use your non-insertive hand to do a wide variety of things: 

              * Holding her 
              * Running your hands over her body 
              * Pinching nipples 
              * Grabbing hair 
              * Holding her hands above her head 
              * Massaging/penetrating the anus (if she's lying on her side and your 
              anal hand is gloved and lubed) 
              * Having her suck your fingers 
              * Etc. 

          You can lie down or crouch so that your head is next to hers and whisper hot 
          things in her ear. 

          Some people put smooth, round beads in the fingertips of their gloves to 
          provide more intense sensations when they have their hand in someone. 

          Other people slit their gloves up both sides, fold that up as a flap, and do oral 
          sex on the clit through the flap while having their fingers in their lover's cunt 
          (though you might want to get non-powdered gloves if you're going to do that 
          so they taste better, or using a damp sponge wipe the powder off YOUR side 
          of the flap). 

          One thing I personally can't do due to the size of my hands is actually 
          vaginally fist someone. However, if your hands are small enough to do this 
          with one of your female lovers and she's curious about it, it's definitely worth 
          a try. With your hand palm up (and your lover on her back), you bring the 
          fingers and thumb together to form a duck bill. With massaging, and possibly 
          twisting motions, this can be worked into the vagina. If anatomy allows it, 
          once you get in past the third knuckles the fingers will start to gently and 
          naturally curve back to form a fist. Anyway, the whole procedure can take 
          time, but the women and men who can take a whole fist vaginally or anally 
          claim that it leads them to transcendant, spiritual states. See _Trust: The 
          Handballing Book_ by Bert Herrman for a discussion of anal fisting, if that is 
          your area of interest. 

          Oh, and before I forget... You and your partner might find the techniques 
          described in this document to be more enjoyable if she is masturbating you as 
          you are masturbating her (and whether you're male or female, remember the 

          But after having presented a multitude of specific techniques, let me say that 
          eventually you can go beyond thinking about manual techniques at all and 
          just go with the flow, being creative. 

          Most women who have experienced both claim that it is easier to have 
          multiple G-spot orgasms than it is to have multiple clitoral orgasms. So, when 
          you have your hand in some lovely tart, don't let the fact that she starts 
          coming affect what you're doing too much. Whisper some words of 
          encouragement to her and maybe rachet up the intensity just a little bit, but 
          basically keep going through her orgasm, afterwards, and into the next one. 
          Let HER tell you when she can't take any more; no sense in setting a priori 
          limits :) There is often a pyramid effect with multiple G-spot orgasms; each 
          one makes the next one feel better, and makes almost anything else sexual feel 
          better too. 

          However, it should be said that it isn't too sexually or psychologically 
          appealing to have a huge ego/emotional stake in having orgasms or having 
          multiple orgasms, whether the person of concern is you or your partner. 
          There's no point in getting "goal oriented" about something that's supposed to 
          be fun. 

          I'm not a doctor, and I don't even play one on TV. But... 

          According to _The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex_ by Cathy Winks and Anne 
          Semans (which you should ALL get), the G-spot, anatomically, is the area 
          beneath the urethral sponge. This would certainly at least partially explain its 
          role in female ejaculation. It also sheds light on why G-spot stimulation 
          makes some women feel like they have to pee when they really don't (though 
          it HAS been shown that female ejaculate is NOT urine). 

          If you're interested in learning more on this topic you might consider 
          watching the films _How to Female Ejaculate_ and _Sluts and Goddesses_. 
          Still, it should be pointed out that female ejaculation is NOT a universal 
          response to G-spot stimulation and orgasm; even among people who enjoy 
          G-spot orgasms, it's still pretty rare. 

          So, since every woman has a urethral sponge, every woman has a G-spot. 
          The only question is whether (#1) she likes having it stimulated and (#2) 
          whether someone has used the proper technique and sufficiently firm 
          pressure on it so that it IS being stimulated. When surveys show that a large 
          percentage of women claim not to enjoy/notice G-spot stimulation, I 
          personally suspect that it is often through concern #2 rather than from 
          concern #1. That's purely speculative, of course; I have no data to back up 
          that assertion. But anyway, try what I'm describing with some friends of yours 
          and see what you think. 

          It helps to have long fingers, but it's no big deal. As long as your fingers can 
          reach the G-spot and a little ways beyond, you're fine. 

          Many of these g-spot techniques will work in a similar fashion on men when 
          performed anally. Men have what is called a "prostate gland," the stimulation 
          of which can provoke and/or intensify orgasms. One may stimulate the 
          prostate gland with the fingers a few inches inside the anus by pressing 
          towards the penis. The prostate gland can often be palpated, and often feels 
          like a little dome. Please see Jack Morin's book Anal Pleasure and Health or 
          The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex by Winks and Semans for more 
          information on prostate stimulation. 

          To be completely safe with manual stimulation, you should wear gloves and 
          use lube. 

          The best gloves to use are latex; vinyl feels terrible. It doesn't matter whether 
          the gloves are powdered or not, but be sure they fit you properly. Also, 
          always use water-based lube on the outside of your gloves, preferably 
          something nice and thick (without Nonoxynol-9) like ForPlay. It doesn't 
          matter if the receptive partner is highly aroused and "wet" or not; use lube 
          anyway. Oil-based lubes like regular Crisco have their place in anal fisting, 
          but oils can break down latex and can provoke vaginitis when used in the 

          Anyway, turning to safe sex in general for a moment, I've tried a lot of the 
          products out there and have settled on the following: 

              Water-based Lube: ForPlay, without N-9 
              Latex Condoms: Kimono MicroThins, without N-9 
              Oral Barriers: Glyde "Lollyles" 
              Gloves: Standard Latex Examination Gloves, powdered 
              Towelettes: Benzalkonium Chloride antiseptic towelettes 

          The Kimono MicroThin condoms taste fine for oral sex; certainly, they taste 
          better than powdered, unlubed condoms and those mint condoms. The Glyde 
          barriers, like all oral barriers, feel even better if you put a drop of water-based 
          lube on your partner's side before applying them. Some people like to put a 
          drop of water-based lube in the tip of a condom 
          before putting it on to increase sensation. 

          If you're in Seattle or are willing to do mail order, the best place to get lube is 
          Toys in Babeland (206-328-2914) and the best place to get condoms and 
          Glyde oral barriers is The Rubber Tree (206-633-4750). The best place to get 
          Antiseptic Towlettes in Seattle is Choice Medical (206-329-1668), but through 
          mail order you might try Conney (800-356-9100). The best place to get latex 
          examination gloves in Seattle is Bartel drugs, but through mail order you 
          might try Conney again (800-356-9100). If you want more information on 
          safer sex and for a listing of sexuality resources, please refer to the Society for 
          Human Sexuality WWW page at 

          You can make a toy bag with your safe sex supplies in them which you can 
          just grab when going out to play. With the lube, you can get a little bottle for 
          it that you can refill from your economy bottle. Condoms and towelettes 
          come attached to each other in groups, so they stay neat. You can put all the 
          Glyde dams in one small zip-lock bag, and put a supply of gloves INSIDE 
          one glove for storage. This whole kit should then fit in a hip pack or a pocket 
          of a bookbag for a minimum of fumbling around in the heat of passion. 

          If you want to get any of the films mentioned in this document (oh, and one 
          other we recommend: _Safe is Desire_), you can buy them from Good 
          Vibrations (800-289-8423) or if you're in Seattle rent them from Scarecrow 
          Video (206-524-8554). 

          Happy Loving! 

          The Society for Human Sexuality at University of Washington 

          WWW Home Page: 
          Mailing List: Send e-mail to with "info shs" 
          as the sole body of the message. 
          Mail: University of Washington / Society for Human Sexuality 
          SAO 141 / Box 352238 / Seattle, WA 98195 



Back To General BDSM
E-mail Site Owner
Back To Home Page
Page By: Raven Shadowborne © 2000
Graphics and buttons by: Aylissa Cair and Raven Shadowborne ©





LnR Toy Store

Site Map


To hear of changes to the web site, or events taking place in the chat room, enter your e-mail address and click on the button below to join the LnRannounce mailing list. This is an announcement list only and is of very low volume. Or if you prefer, e-mail Raven ( ) to be added to the list, be sure to include your e-mail address and the name of the list within the e-mail.

Subscribe to LnRannounce
Powered by

National Coalition For Sexual Freedom

Link To Domination