Pain For Your Pleasure:
A Learning Experience

Author: Fire-Soul © June 2005

This article is copyrighted to the stated author(s) and can not be reproduced, copied, reprinted, or posted without the consent of the author. It is used here with permission of the author.



In many ways when people take a look and consider if an alternative lifestyle is something that can be a part of them is the wrong way to begin. How can we know with out a doubt that we cannot grow, redefine, or simply change our mind when the decision is an uninformed one?

I have been a part of Gor, for nearly a decade now. I have traveled a long road with many changes on it and many more decisions yet to be made. I have spent years away from Gor with-in this decade, but I always returned. Here I am still, with my beliefs and my growths still a part of my everyday life. I incorporate what I learn and learn what I can as I grow. It is as everyone should always be: striving to learn to be the best at who they are.

I was raised to always respect my elders and to behave in a manner acceptable to them. I have always been shy, and this shyness was easily seen when I entered a Gor room for the first time. I always asked if a slave could please get me something to drink. In the home of my every day life, I could never expect to have someone just get me a drink because I asked for one. In my every day family I am the only one who is, without a doubt, interested in living a lifestyle other than what society chooses for us. I am my own self and I find I am all the better because I chose this path.

In the beginning, I chose to learn what Gor is by sitting, watching, reading websites, and asking questions. I did this for 2 weeks as I learned and absorbed information from others. In the beginning, there is a lot to learn. Gor is both easy and difficult to understand, both in general and within one’s self. Because of the fantasy element it can be easily viewed as being role play only, and many often do come to Gor for just the role play. But, I came based on a far more simplistic reasoning.

Literally, I fell into Gor. I had known a friend who turned out to have a channel on an IRC network where I was a member of staff. I entered the channel and was asked, by a slave girl, the most common questions asked of someone new to Gor. “Do you know what Gor is?” “Do you know who John Norman is?” She explained it to me. After a few moments she then knelt before me in nothing but slave silks, offering to fetch me a drink. She then gave me my first experience with a gorean serve. From then on I have been interested in Gor, and wanted to make it part of my life. This desire has only increased over time and as I gained knowledge of gor and myself.

I was young, and immature and thus unable to really understand the complexity of everything within this path I had set myself on. But, as a young man I enjoyed what I saw on an instinctive level.

You must be asking yourself,” Where is he going with this article?” Well, having given a basic introduction of my beginnings on Gor, I can now begin relating my thoughts, feelings and opinions on Gor and why I believe in and support this lifestyle as a viable option for real life.

We refer to Gorean relationships as they are most accurately labeled, a Master/slave relationship. The difference here that is most important to understanding gor is how this differs from a Dominant/submissive relationship. In a D/s relationship the submissive has a level of control and can have even more than the Dominant. Many Master/slave relationships actually start out in real life as a D/s relationship before levels of trust develop to a point where both parties are capable and ready to accept the change to an M/s relationship. This should, in no way, mean that either is better than the other, this is just what I believe in.

In the beginning, I could never understand just how someone would really want to serve and be pleasing. It took time for me to see what the underlying truth was. This was not the only thing that has been changing as I have grown. The most notable point that I have seen change is something I had decidedly fought as being not a part of me from the beginning. Yet now I don't only see that it has been there for a while, but that it has been a core of my desires and interests. Pain, as something that can be enjoyable in the right circumstances or even freeing in a sense, is the most notable change. In my case, I started off as being absolutely against the idea of ever using a whip on a slave. I could never understand that some people enjoy pain and can turn it into pleasure. I was so adamant that I didn't really listen to what some have said on the subject. I heard the definition of a sadist and my mind closed on the idea.

I have since, in the last year, found that I am a Sensual Sadist. I am not yet at a point where I take enjoyment purely from giving pain. But, I am no longer so cut and dry as to be able to say that I can't get to that point either. I have always had small facets of myself centered around some interest in activities that are the beginnings of pain play and I would have undoubtedly refused to ever hear any of it as a possibility. In the last year I have come to understand that those desires are there, and to accept and enjoy them. I have always enjoyed the idea of flicking, nibbling, pinching, biting, clothespins, ice, and lit candles, but until recently I would not admit the other desires existed.

I have repeatedly stated that I was proud I did not need a whip to punish a slave. I still do not need one. The reason was originally due to my being raised with the belief that hitting a woman was bad and was only done to inflict pain. Yes it is done to inflict pain. But this was a belief my parents and society gave me. This was also because I refused to try it on the basis of an old opinion: I never thought I could enjoy hurting a woman. But, what I never heard was that it wasn't hurting them to hurt them, but instead to make them feel good. Rather than pain, it gives some women a sense of great arousal and excitement through the pain resulting in an amazing level of stimulation. These things that were so abhorrently evil to me beforehand became the things I am now interested in seeing where they will lead me.

In my path I have even picked up new interests and toys such as TENS units and Violet Wands. These are tools of electricity but each capable of being used to provide playfully intense fun. Floggers, whips, canes, and of course hands them selves can easily be used in so many different ways. I am looking forward to the many different ways still to come and to learn about. Perhaps I will eventually find some actual hard limits. But so far, even the ones I thought I had have slowly been pushed out of the way with time and an open mind.





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