Topping From The Bottom Is Not That Bad!

Author: D. S. Gray (Sadique) © 1999


This is a most interesting topic and I trust that these words will add fuel to the fires of thought.   I do not, as a dom., believe that "topping from the bottom" is negative - it may be, very well might be, often may be - but it must be considered as a signal of something deeper, whether it be a cry for help or a struggle for control.  In either case it is a call for attention and that is what the dominant must address.   The great difficulty is determining the difference and that is what I will turn my attention towards. 

From my own experience, I believe that in most, but not all cases, it is a
cry for attention of the deepest sort.  When a submissive, a true and dedicated submissive, uses this tool it, is to alert the dominant of a real and true problem within the relationship.  There is the caveat that it very well may be to subvert control, however, my only concern, as a dominant, is to examine the validity of the submissive's intent under the circumstance presented me.  A dominant, a true and instinctive dominant, will know the difference, but it takes time, experience and a "sense of smell" to weed the grain from the chaff.   A constant, continuous barge, is "topping from the bottom" in the most negative sense.  Conversely, when it occurs under specific or unusual circumstances, then it becomes an aberration.  This is the basis on which I judge "topping from the bottom" and it is up to the
dominant to determine which circumstance they are contending with.  But,
they must face it, deal with it and decide the only right course of action open to them in a just manner that will address both the concerns of the dominant and those of the submissive.  Theory?  Perhaps it is, but it is a condition that all, which embrace the Dominant/submissive choice in life, must address at one point or another. 

As I stated, I do not believe that it is positive, neither will I accept that it is negative, it is and it is what is called, in the scientific community, a marker.  It would be best for all that it is assessed, addressed and recognized for what it truly is within the context of the relationship.  Personally, I have found it to be most constructive, most informative, but I accept that there will be considerable disagreement on this.  What I see as useful many will be seen as an irritation, an affront, but it need not be that, "topping from the bottom" can be a most useful tool to defuse a polarity that both parties may grow from.if they choose to do so. 


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