The View From The Dragon's Lair:
No Pain No Gain

Author: Dragon~Lord aka Dennis © 2005

This article is copyrighted to the stated author(s) and can not be reproduced, copied, reprinted, or posted without the consent of the author. It is used here with permission of the author.


"I am pain
I am real. I'm not a dream
I'm the chain around your neck as you scream…
…I am pain
I am the wound that never heals
It's all in vain
No compromise, no deals..."
- "Day three: Pain" The Human Equation by Ayreon

"Your anguish gives me sustenance!"
-Stewie from 'the Family Guy'

"When I said 'Please Sir, may I come', I really was saying deep inside – Hurt Me Master" – anonymous quote

Pain, pain the pleasure game,
Squeeze me here, pinch me there,
Swat me with this, hit me with that,
Stroke me again, with a blade so keen.

Break out the flame, burn me clean,
Crack the whip, and spare not the cat,
Bind me with ropes, even my hair,
Master I give thee my pleasured stain.

as you give me my treasured pain,
again and again and
-pleasured pain By Dennis Burns


No pain, No gain… so true in many things not just in the physical fitness paradigm, it holds true in the emotional and spiritual realms as well. One cannot form more muscle tissue without first tearing it a bit and letting it rest to heal thereby slowly increasing its mass from the original form. One needs to experience the emotional pain, of lets say the loss of a loved one, in some form, be it the loss of the relationship or the loss of their physical being, before one can truly come to grips with that loss, grow and move forward with one's life. And leaps of faith in the spiritual realm are never an easy process. It is usually filled with some type of pain in order to grow beyond it and journey towards the next level or on a new path.

Pain in our life (style) is also a way of traveling to another level. I do not believe it is like the classic stereotyping that the popular media has fostered on the masses. That there is a building of a tolerance and the next pain fix needs to be more intense than the last and that as one travels deeper into the realm of those Sadomasochistic deviations, one is bound for the dark side and will only be satisfied by the dark ministrations of a satanic sith lord named Master Vader and his evil light saber whip… (Though I am sure there are a few out there wondering if they can pick up a Darth Vader outfit and a black light reactive bullwhip…go ahead). Or the more unfortunate media hype of the '8mm', 'Saw' or the boring potential of an 'Eyes Wide Shut' scenario.

It is not like that, as most humans who are a tad on the hedonistic side, that side that looks for the sensual mixed with the sensation, we may start out with the scarves and the feather 'slap and tickle' play and as we grow and learn more we find other ways to achieve our personal type of nirvana. So we find new toys of pleasure and pain, we find new ways to inflict and to feel. (Of course they are going to be more intense and more involved than those tentative scarves and feathers of our burgeoning bedrooms play time.) Hell some of us may even begin to join others and learn some of those new techniques, participate in public play and even go to seminars to learn not only the how's but the why's of what we do to each other. Which for some of us more uh…seasoned practitioners is a far cry from the bar scene that some went through or the more whispered about groups of the swingers era, where one had to know someone to be even considered… the secret handshake/strange knock and the password that was obscure to be sure. Maybe the mass media was not too far off in some things…just that it has not caught up with the times….

Anyway I digress; first off there is nothing wrong with the feathers and scarves (I still use them.) and just as in any educational process where one acquires new knowledge and skill they will therefore advance to a new level. Kindergarten to grade school, middle to high, undergrad to graduate level and then real life…. Grin! It is the same with us; we learn and look for greater understanding and new knowledge or new sensations. It does not mean that because we are looking for these things for ourselves that we, as the media like to portray us, will travel down a never-ending spiral of depravity. That is the same logic that says that all breast-fed babies will be alcoholics because all alcoholics started out on mother's milk.

I also understand that sometimes the pain we seek is to work our way through some change in our life that we need like I stated in the beginning…. Yet this is not about those things at all. What I want to speak to you about is the need for the pain, for pain's sake. Yup! I know I talk a lot about the why we do what we do in terms of the change and such hell I even speak at seminars and such, but what I wish to explore now is the side few can or seem to be able to talk about and that is that deeper need to feel the pain. You know the pain I'm talking about, the pain that your little one seeks when they come to you and hand you the belt, or as your cleaning your whip they kneel and present their back with eyes like those cheap velvet painting of the huge sad eyed children or pet that screams with quiet need for the touch of your implement to their skin.

I'm speaking of that need for pain that is so hard for some to give to those whom they have a strong tie called love with the definitions still mired in the conventional senses of the non-kink world. The sensation that your loved one or maybe your property, or how ever you define your dynamic, not only wants but craves and desires and damn it has such a burning need for it that it hurts not to be given the pain that they require … this pain that they seek is not just for pains sake…hell they could give themselves that kind of pain by running into a wall or cutting themselves… no no! This kind of pain is really called passion!

This is the pain they are looking for in some cases. Again avoiding absolutes because some really do just want to feel the pain, and who am I to deny them that … or at least deny that that is what they want, for that reason. But for many I feel it is the passion that they seek and the pain that that passion invokes both in the receiver and in the giver. Granted there are groupings out there that do not show that passion in their paradigm or their worldview within their group dynamics. The stoic Master and the quiet servitude of their slave(s), yet not all are of this pattern and even within some of those stoic groups lay the slave who craves the pain of passion from their Master. This pain of passion tells the slave and the Master that they are alive, that they have feelings, that they can elicit those feelings from the other.

When a brat acts out it is so they can see if the Master is really paying attention and will the Master really punish them. For the most part it is not because they want to act bad, though there are those who being a hand full is part of the make up… just ask any Daddy/I who has ever had a boy/i and they can attest to that. It is so that they can feel needed, wanted and noticed and all those other things… not normally associated with a slave heart being… but even slave hearts need to feel the passion of their Master … not just the passion of the Master's release, but the passion of the Masters heat, their fire, the pyre that the slave basks in with their own sense of belonging. Maybe it is just my outlook as a Master who sees himself as a draconic persona, and those who serve me who seek the pyrotechnic passions of a passionate being. Yet I can only speak from my viewpoint for any other would not be true.

Many whom I have spoke to and I have observed who are not mine, show this need to be fed with more than just the food of servitude but to have this service sometimes barbequed over the coals of the owners passion. We never hit in anger, we never lose sight of the whip, and we control the scene with the eagle's eye of a Spielberg epic, ensuring safety and care in all we do, it sometimes seems very sterile and scripted to all parties. We become nearly automations of the SSC or even the RACK Model. I am a firm believer of not harming my toys but I have always told them that I will hurt you yet never harm you. Yet sometimes I feel that I am harming them if I do not give them and myself a taste of the being within me. If I do not release the Dragon Beast within then I am cheating us both. Cheating us of the passions that brought us into this life in the first place, the passion is more than just the sexual, it is the breathing in their ear with your heated ragged breath as you scream with their scream, it is the releasing the stop gaps and becoming primal in one's actions and reactions with the one you are with at the moment of time that causes both of your eyes to flare with heated fire.

Wrestle with you little one, chase them around the public dungeon (within some reason, not much but some) dance to the dungeon music and flog them as you do so. Better yet untie them and both of you dance as you flog them. Find ways that they can serve that is a bit beyond the norm for the both of you. Have them go shopping with you wearing nothing but a long coat and a smile (and shoes). Have them tell you their darkest dreams, as they stand naked before you. Have them dance a dance in which they flog themselves for your pleasure…. Find something that will bring out the passions in the both of you. And when they look at you and ask to come as you are twisting their nipple, look deep into their eyes when they say, "Sir/Ma'am, may I cum?" and see if they are really saying – "HURT ME MASTER!" then tweak and twist a bit more don't be too quick to give that permission, wait until it feels right, not just because you are giving them release, for you will really be giving them far more, again, and again, and yet again.

As always this is but my opinions and so take what you like and leave what you do not. Remember the reasons we do what we do are many and sometimes complicated and sometimes it is simply because we really like what we do for no other reason than we do.

If you have any comments or questions feel free to contact me at
Be well and blessed be
Remember we are all just human's being

"Mastery is the ability to constantly be in motion with the universe, whether it is to forge ahead towards some enlightenment or the movement of quiet introspection"

- Dennis Burns





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