"Give me; your dirty love;
Like you might surrender to some Dragon in your dreams,
Give me; your dirty love;
Like a pink Dalmatian to the Dragon in your dreams,
I don't need your sweet devotion,
And I don't want your cheap emotion,
Whip me up some Dragon lotion
For your dirty love,
Your dirty love...
Give me; your dirty love; Like some tacky little pamphlet in your daddy's bottom drawer,
Give me; your dirty love;
I don't believe you never seen his book before.
I don't need no consolation,
And I don't want your reservation,
I only got one destination...
And that's your dirty love,
Your dirty love..."

"Dirty Love" - Frank Zappa

"--- I am your wicked thoughts in the dark,
I am that silently stalking shadow in the park,
I am the raging beast of your desires,
I am the leaping flames within your passion's fires.
I am whoever you need me to be...
NOT always the one you want,
But, the one that you need.
I can be your lovers, one, two, or three,
Or the feathered tease.... Or shivering chilling taut,
For you see... your body is as my toy, so that your soul can be freed.
I am a musician of multiple talents,
Your body and mind are but my instruments,
Your passions are laid before me, like the notes upon a music sheet.
I stroke your being and tune your balance,
Stripping from your soul all... all... But the rudiments,
Till your vision and perceptions return to the primordial sea,
Your body and mind all meld and collapse into a nebulous stellar heat.
I am the whip that tears your skin!
I am the salve that returns it to wholeness... only to be torn again!
I am the electric current that rides the pathways along your flesh!
I am a fever that flares time and again, encasing you in a chilled silken mesh!
I am the gentle soft stroke of a lover's hand!
I am the firm crack of the paddle!
I am the cool quiet oasis in the desert sand!
I am the mongrel horseman riding high in your saddle! ---"

"Shape shifter" -Dennis Burns

Greetings, sorry for the long intro, I felt it was appropriate to the topic for this article, for I feel the muse to speak of early influences for what we do. Do you remember your first awareness, to something that stirred a deep reaction from within, a pulse quickening, a thrum along your spine or a sudden sensation; like Chris Farley once said "I feel like I'm wearing a bathing suit that is too tight." Now I don't wish to expose anyone's age, so please no show of hands. For some it may have been finding those racy cover pictures of your father's 'True Detective' 'True Crime'. Possibly those glossy photos of the strangely exciting neck jewelry worn by obscure tribal women, found between the pages of National Geographic; a great bathroom literary read. Maybe as Frank's song speaks about, those little nudity pamphlets or even the bizarre sexual booklets that were filled with misspelled words in the bottom of your daddy drawer. They never could spell simple words like 'come' and all the girls were called 'Butch' but that was misspelled as well. Anyway they usually found their way under your mattress.

Maybe it was when you were watching a movie. Some pretty little thing was being tied to the train tracks, buzz saw, rocket ship, tree, rock or placed in the trunk of a car or well; face it; it didn't really matter where they were tied, or even how badly they were tied, as long as they were tied. Maybe you saw your face superimposed over the face of either the tied or the villain. Was it was when the redhead O'Hara slapped the Duke and he slapped her back, then they kissed. Or maybe when Marlon Brando (younger and far lighter) grabbed the stick of butter and used it as lube for Pia Zadora's backyard exploration in 'Last Tango in Paris', or any of the more recent films that don't hide it with the innuendos like pan shots to a pile of leaves or a raging surf, like I grew up with. I bet that there are a few of us out there that used to; when no one was around, scoot closer to the TV when a deep cleavage or short skirt was onscreen. Trying to peer up or down into that mysterious event horizon along the edge of the screen. To see if there was more on the other side to see and how if we could only just see a little further; we might find something amazing and mysteriously wonderful. Think back to when you felt for the first time a startling tingle below your belt or even in the back of your neck, when you wrapped clothesline around the girl next door as you played cowgirls and Indians. I always was the Indian; they got to tie the knots. Perhaps you were the one who was captured; you could have easily escaped the clutches of your fiendish play partner, but you didn't want to, because it felt somewhat nice to be bound, safe, secure. Even the game of tag took on new feelings and meanings. Hide an seek at dusk was just the prelude to games like Doctor, Nurse, Mad Scientist, Emperor Ming's Torturer, Puppet Master, etc..

Then there was the dreams, oh how scary they were to become. Exciting and un-nerving these dreams were. You would wake to wet sheets of sweat and something newer and even more disconcerting and just where the hell did that come from: oh, isn't that strange. You would ponder your sanity, and your worthiness to be a part of society. Until somewhere you were able to either tell another or they told you. Suddenly you knew you were not alone. But until that time, you found that the concepts your dreams were showing you were contrary to all those things the Adults were telling you. The teaching of your religion of your parent's choice may have made you feel not only guilty but perhaps ssshhh evil:

"And the cosmic thunderer said unto ye, touch not yourself nor those little bits of your friends, especially if they be the same gender as thou. Least I remove the temptation from thee with lightning, and yea hearken to any who may think to bind another or give them sensations of a painful quality or to be bound or receive these feelings. They will be smote with the Flogger of righteousness...uh, unless they like that, uh, then they will just be looked upon as unclean... wait some like that stuff too... oh the hell with It; you'll just be considered wrong headed. No one will play with you!"

A lot of us lived within the walls of our own skins, except covertly at times in innocent play. (Not intentional, it just was an unexplained pleasure that occurred.) As we grew out of those childhood games and reached the sexual explorative years of teenagers and young adults. We either held these feelings in deep check and/or vicariously indulged them with movies; music or sports preferably contact types. In some more recent times even in the way we dress. Some find ways to met their needs without really understanding the whys the how's and how not? Such as the girl, who would act out at the strangest times to get her boyfriend to be angry. Maybe angry enough to get him to spank her, or show strong emotions towards her. Unfortunately it did not always work out the way that they wished. Many have been hurt in their journey; no matter what position they have currently in the life.

Submissive people (for lack of a better definer.) had the propensity to fall among many who were not good for them. They were abused instead of used as they wished to be. We Dominants were not exempt; we run the risk of the extreme co-dependent, (note: not something most of us are looking for in a submissive or slave.) Sometimes we would be used, yup! Used to make another jealous, to receive pity or because they wanted to be abused because it was confused for love. Possibly we were the emotional beast of their dreams; but not their realities, or we were the dominance and control they wished for when it was convenient or when they willed it. You know, the part timer, a 2/3, two hours every three days, and today is not that day asshole! Now take out the trash! Master this, until I get back. Advice: run don't walk. Nothing is wrong with a Dom or Master taking out the trash, just the context. Also on 2/3's if that is all the time that they have available, then that is fine as well. So long as the intent and desire is still with them in those times between. House larvae i.e. children can cause this, don't get me wrong children are great; with mustard, grin. True 24/7 is very rare except in the heart and soul.

Back to those dreams we may have had as I did. Soon they begin to occur without the need for sleep. You may be looking at a nice person and wonder, not what they would look like in their 'funderwear', but what they would look like tied to a chair or chained to the kitchen table exposed and helpless to your desires and whims. Instead of looking at someone and wondering if they like to sip fine wine in front of the fire. You start thinking, would they like a spanking on that bear rug, or the feel of flame melted wax dripped in erotic patterns on their flogger warmed skin.

The second poem is a portion of what I wrote when I was but a youngling larva. I was becoming very much aware of just who and what I was and am. So I tried to do as I always try to do and define what to me was indefinable, until it was! That is a process that most of us started when we were young. When those first feelings, those urges and surges deep within the core of our selves began. We started to examine them and pick them apart to understand why. It continues and I say it must continue constantly, this self-examination and appraisal. I just returned from a wonderful event called the Buchmann's APEX Academy; it was for Master/Slave, BDSM, training and exploration. I went thinking, I know most of what we were to explore, but I would keep an open mind. I found I could open it even further than I knew and at this point in my life I find I can open it further than I can even define. I think the more we explore as we did as children, with that same sense of wonderment and dogged commitment to understand and not with the false belief that I know it all. That is a trap that is, oh so easy to fall into. Then we can always grow and improve who we are and thereby help those we care for to achieve the same better understanding of self.

In other words; this whole article is my wish, that each of you no matter what your positional perspective in this life is: Bottom, Sub, Slave, Top, Dom, or Master, to stop and examine first yourself and your intent. Not intent the noun, but intent the adjective, then look to how you wish to be and how you are now. Remember to see it clearly not as a reflection in a mirror which is reversed and thereby flawed in it's perspective, but as another would see you. Then look to those who you care for and how you can help them on their path to their goals. Remember you cannot make them follow any path; it is up to them to follow the path they desire. You can though, make it more desirable for their feet to travel. If you have any question or comments good or bad, please I would like to hear them, just remind which article you are speaking of please and as always this is just my opinion, so take what you like and leave what you don't.

Be well, and adieu

Dennis
Sans peur et sans reproche
(At least I try to be)

"What colour is a Dragon my son?"
"Crimson Master, Bloody Crimson, no matter what doth the eye say!"