A Dom's Perspective: Attraction

Author: Dragon~Lord aka Dennis © 2002

Used With Author(s) Permission



she sings from somewhere you can't see
she sits in the top of a greenhouse tree
she sends out an aroma of unrefined love
it drips on down in a mist from above
you hear her calling everywhere you turn
you know you're headed for the pleasure burn
but the words get stuck on the tip of your tongue
she's the real thing, but you knew it all along
look at you with your mouth watering
look at you with your mind spinning
why don't we just admit it's all over
she's just the girl you want
she's just the girl
she's just the girl
the girl you want
-DEVO “Girl U want”

How many times have we looked at someone and seen what we would think would be our perfect match? I normally try to write these articles without any gender specific qualifiers, but in this case I am going to write it from a male’s point of view. You catch the profile in the corner of your eye. It may be just the way she walks, the way she holds her head, it may be the slow sensuous movement of her body as she does some mundane activity. For some it is the outside, physical beauty that attracts, while for others it may be just the ‘air’ of the individual that draws one closer. For some of us, more in tune to our senses, it may be the irresistible scent of pheromones or for more auditory just the lilt of a voice. But are these really the attractors we see, feel, and experience? Let’s take some of them for example.

Some action catches our eye, something has to draw our attention, and something brings your worlds focus upon her. This could be because of your own conditioning of what is an ideal or beautiful feminine form. Now here we will take a mental pause… Stop and think what is…my ideal feminine form? For some of you it may be the Kathy Ireland, Christie Brinkley look, for others it may be the Sandra Bullock type (the more approachable girl-next-door look). But I do not think anyone really desired “Twiggy” (a model from the 60’s). Some of you may not even know who this woman is, but she is the one who started, in the western world, the idea that women were meant to be anorexic. That somehow the starved look equated to mans ideal, a definition of feminine beauty. …NOPE! Throughout history women have been portrayed for their beauty of face, of spirit, and of grace. Take the Mona Lisa, a painting by many to be considered to be a very beautiful woman with an enigmatic smile. It’s not her body we see; it’s the beauty of her face and the aura of her grace. Ruben painted voluptuous women, women who were realistic. Even today we call these women “Rubenesque.” Even fetish totems of ancient cultures portrayed the female form in a more realistic, well-rounded manner. Now do not get me wrong, Kathy Ireland and Sandra Bullock are beautiful women as well, but they are not the norm. They are the exceptions.

Well, what else could attract us? I mentioned the ‘air’, the movement in their grace. Why does this attract us? Well for men it could be the demonstration of fine motor skills, over our more grossly exaggerated movements. Not saying that men can’t be graceful, but we can appreciate graceful movements. From a lifestyle point of view we are more in tuned with out past which looked to and encouraged the graceful fluidic motion of the female form as an extension of that entity known as woman. A good example is a Japanese tea service. For every movement is precise, concise, and extenuates the graceful movement of the feminine form. It don’t take that long to make tea…it’s the ceremony, the ritual and the time it’s for the enjoyment of the Master to absorb the woman’s grace and actions. Take John Norman’s Gor series, every woman must have rubber bones to be as graceful as he describes. Go into any chat room and most of the adjectives thrown around deal with how graceful the chatter moves from one ‘fur pile’ to the stocks. Why…because graceful movements are a turn on. As coarse, and as gruff and as uncouth as men seem to be in a lot of women’s eyes, we can appreciate fluid motion.

What else attracts us to women? Especially attracts us to women who may not be the Kathy Ireland or Sandra Bullock types. That would be scent, a very primal hard-wired preceptor. Ladies it’s not your perfume, it’s your pheromones. Subtle, subconscious indicators, exude into the air as free floating molecules that transmit messages to our receptors within our nasal passages that decode on a cellular level your desires. Even if you are not looking for a man or a mate consciously, your body is telling you “BS!” and is sending out its own advertisement. Now here is a simplistic view of how it works. Your walking down the street and your thinking of bills or work, or anything else, but your body is saying “you’re a woman and you have a biological imperative” (don’t worry, us men have them too.) So, your body sends out a molecular advertisement that says “I might be interested”. Now every man in the general area receives this, but only a few may be able to decipher it and even fewer are so in tuned with their bodies to recognize it for what it is. Now the men’s body sends out its own molecular message. Roughly stating “I am male, I am always ready.” This in turn causes the woman’s body to increase her pheromones saying “your kinda cute, will your genes continue my line with protection.” And so they fire back and forth sending messages furthering their attraction. Have you ever been with someone who smelled so good, having just stepped out of the shower? Or ladies have you ever been attracted to some sweaty man? Even though the aroma of the sweaty man attracts you, publicly you are repelled. Pheromones, primal, primitive, sexual ads, they are the pop-up screens of ancient sexual drives.

Who was that? Cute little, tight package, a little sexual powerhouse, petite, yet built for speed, all the visual factors said ‘GO’, until she opened her mouth!!! How many remember Rosie Perez? Pretty lady, fair actress, a voice that could de-calcify the spine, would rather listen to someone clean the chalkboard with a porcupine. How many when you were younger, call the number for time just to hear that voice? I remember when it was revealed on Carson that it was an 86 year old woman who did the recording. He dashed a lot of young hearts then! Demi Moore, while her body has some altered beauty, her throaty voice has more. The sound of someone’s voice can illicit a lot of responses. From sexual arousal to coming calming influence, to outright flight, granted it seems to effect women more than men (take in case Sam Elliot’s voice). For some reason his voice some women swoon. Lawrence Fishburne, even James Earl Jones (Darth Vader/CNN), Barry White has been known to have a slight effect on women. Yet men as a whole have a tendency to be driven by the ‘head with no ears’.

The whole point of my tirade is that men whether in or out of the lifestyle are more controlled, consciously and sub-consciously more than they would like to believe, controlled by factors both biological and yes MAN-made. There is a lot of talk about women and young girls controlled by the media, well; they are not the only ones. Face it men… we used to like women who looked like real women, not like the mannequins in the store. Some of us in the lifestyle have this idea what the ideal woman is…she is blonde, or redhead with long flowing locks, with a slight curl to them, dark smoky almond eyes, either alabaster or dark erotic exotic skin, full collagenated pouty lips, quivering with anticipation for service, long thin neck gently sloping shoulders, leading to pendulous forward thrusting firm breasts with rose tinted cold-weather indicators, down an hour glass flat, firm tummy to a set of breeder’s hips, and J-Lo graspable cheeks, followed by endless legs ending with petite bound feet. Whose vocabulary consist of “yes Master”, “how may I serve”, “why yes I have no sexual desire of my own, other than to please thee”, “kneeling for hours is what I desire”, and “yes I brought my own furs.”

The reality is, real women come in many shapes, sizes, personalities, and demeanors. Trust your instincts, gut feelings, and the little lizard whispers in the back of your brain they are telling you things that you need to listen to. Do not ignore the women out there who have so much to offer, just because they are not the cheerleading captain. And face it we men are not all Vin Diesel or The Rock. Over the years I have found its not the shape of the shell, it’s the essence within. You could have the most beautiful looking peanut shell and yet when you open it up its all rotted away. Yet a pineapple has an unappetizing exterior, yet within some of the sweetest and juiciest fruit one can find. To my brothers, buyer beware, not all is as it seems. Some of the most loyal of pets do not have pedigrees, but came from humble origins.

Take care and be well, and with everything I write - take what you like and leave what you don’t.


Mastery is not knowing all, but knowing what you do not know and seeking that knowledge. - Dragon~Lord

Mastery requires motion: from the quiet motion of stillness to the motion of constant
and vigilant revision of one's understanding of the world around them. - Dennis Burns





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