Is Cyber Real?

Author: Raven Shadowborne © 1999

This article is copyrighted to the stated author(s) and can not be reproduced, copied, reprinted, or posted without the consent of the author. It is used here with permission of the author.



The question of the reality of cyber interactions is one that is guaranteed to bring up an emotional disagreement at any time. There are two schools of thought that argue this point the most. First you have those who believe in the reality of cyber interactions, and second you have those who do not believe in them at all, insisting they are nothing but fantasy. There is a third group, these are the people that tend to straddle the fence and believe that cyber can be real but it doesn't hold a candle to real life in any way shape or form. 

Whether or not one sees a cyber interaction as real seems to depend upon the person's view of cyber. If a person views cyber as just another reality, then their interactions will indeed be very real to them. If a person views cyber as nothing but a fantasy play land, then their interactions will not be real to them at all.  

A cyber relationship, in my experience, can indeed be very real. I base this on personal experience as well as knowledge of the human mind. The mind is the most influential part of a person. As well, it is the largest sexual organ any single human being can have. Cyber interactions deal directly with the mind. There are no visual inputs that can distract from the information being received by the mind. They require a greater ability to put feelings and thoughts into words. Because of this, one can create a mental and emotional bond much faster online.  

Further, cyber offers a sense of anonymity that allows people to open up faster and deeper than they would in a face to face conversation. This enhances the feeling of emotional closeness to the person you are interacting with and strengthens the mental bond. This bond, is very real to the one who feels it. The emotional responses of arguments, disagreements and such are the same for online relationships as those in reality. In some cases, the response can be more intense due to the fact that cyber interactions deal directly with the mind and heart.  

The biggest danger with cyber relationships is the differing viewpoints on the reality of the relationship. If a person who views cyber as "real" becomes involved with someone who views it as "fantasy", it is a formula for disaster that ends in serious hurt.  

Words are one of the most powerful influences in a person's life. Cyber is a world created through words. Because of the power of words, cyber can be very much real. For example, if someone tells you "You look nice today" it makes you feel good. If someone says that online, it makes you feel good too.  

Cyber, however, contains quite a bit of fantasy. It is easy to get lost in the fantasy part of it. As well, it is dangerous to believe that everything that happens during cyber sex or scenes, are an exact replica of what would happen in real life. Just because you kneel in cyber, does not mean you can do it in reality. Or just because you can type that you flogged someone, doesn't mean you have the experience or knowledge to actually do so in real life. It is important to keep the fantasy part of cyber interactions seperated from the reality part. 





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