What Is Abuse?

Author: gentle^spirit © 2004
Christians and BDSM Web Site

This article is copyrighted to the stated author(s) and can not be reproduced, copied, reprinted, or posted without the consent of the author. It is used here with permission of the author



The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines abuse as:
… to put to a wrong or improper usage; to use as to injure or damage; to attack in words; or to deceive.

Physical abuse may take the form of: hitting, slapping, kicking, shooting, stabbing, trying to kill, choking, stranding, refusing to allow medical care, punching, restraining against ones will, using a weapon of any kind against or restricting a disabled person in any way that would further hinder them.

Verbal abuse may take the form of: name calling, insults, criticizing, belittling, cursing, threatening, constant correction, shouting, yelling, screaming, mocking, blaming, making humiliating remarks, twisting your words or rolling their eyes when you are talking,

Emotional abuse may take the form of: always claiming to be right, putting you down in front of others, saying bad things about you to friends and family, not giving emotional support, not respecting feelings, rights or opinions, promise breaking, manipulating family members against you and each other, harassment at work, making all the decisions, threatening to abuse or kill pets, threatening to abuse or kidnap children or manipulating with lies and contradictions.

Financial abuse may take the form of: taking your pay check, controlling all money, keeping you and/or your family in debt, having all assets in their name, refusing to let you work, keeping you pregnant so that working outside the home become increasingly difficult or refusing to work themselves and sponging off you while they stay home or “go out with the boys”

Sexual abuse may take the form of: rape, marital rape (yes men, even when you are married, if she says “No.” it means NO!), forcing you to have sex with others (What would God say about this one!), having sexual relationships or affairs with others, forcing unwanted sexual acts, withholding sex, treating women as only to be used as sex objects, insisting that you dress in provocative ways where others may see that makes you uncomfortable or calling you names like “whore” and “slut” in a cruel manner.

Social Isolation may take the form of: cutting you off from as much contact with others as possible (This can happen very slowly. So slowly you may not notice for a year or more!), restricting phone usage, calling often to make sure you are not on the phone and are home where you should be, going to doctor/dentist visits with you…any type professional visit where there might be a chance for you to get help for getting out of your violent situation… and in case of a doctor…a chance to explain the bruises, surrounding himself with friends (if he has any at all) that are abusers, denying access to the car, refusing to go to extended family gatherings, moving you geographically away from family and friends so you have no support base, trying to slowly come between you and your religion so you are cut off from your church or picking fights with your family

The sad fact is that women that choose an abuser once almost always chose another abuser unless they get counseling to teach them the warning signs on how to spot a potential abuser.

Abuse is never OK!

If anyone tells you that-they are lying! Abuse is not your fault. Nothing you have done or ever could do is bad enough to deserve abuse from anyone. You have a right to feel safe. You should not feel ashamed to seek help if you are abused.

Romans 8:16 Now if we are children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and coheirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory

If you'd like to write to gentle^spirit, click here .

If you feel you are in an abusive relationship, get help now!
You can take the first step by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) (TDD 1-800-787-3224) or go to http://www.ndvh.org .

Note: This page should not take the place professional advice.





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